Over at Proud Parenting they report that one in five gay male couples are raising children. This is good news. The post then goes on to talk about a study of gay men and how parenting effects them.
The new study will explore whether gay men respond to the challenge of parenting differently than straight men.
According to San Francisco State University, the National Institutes of Heath has awarded Professor Colleen Hoff [pictured] a $275,000 grant to study how parenting impacts gay men’s health. The two-year study will examine changes in gay dads’ stress levels, lifestyle and health habits, relationship dynamics, peer networks and exposure to antigay discrimination.
“When parenting-related changes occur in the life of a gay man, the stakes are much higher since they are already disproportionately vulnerable to risks such as HIV, substance abuse and depression,” said Hoff, professor of human sexuality studies and director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality.
The study will be the first to examine whether becoming a parent causes gay men to regulate their lifestyle in ways that protect them from risky behavior, or if the stress of parenting leads to increased health risks.
Am I the only one who is offended by this? I don’t think any harm is meant but it isn’t as if gay men go out one night and then find themselves pregnant. Gay men who have children put far more thought into the decision to have children than straight people and probably lesbians as well simply because they can not carry a child in their own womb.
Is parenting stressful? Hell yes. For straight people and gay people. Infants don’t care what their parent’s sexuality is they are still going to wake them up every two hours those first few months. Do some parents handle the stress of domestic life by making bad choices? Hell yes, but I doubt because they are gay. Maybe because they don’t have a good support network or they never learned how to cope under difficult circumstances but hardly because they are attracted to the same sex.
Where is the study of parenting and its effect on the population who do crack? I’m tired of studies that try to find differences between gay and straight people. If you want to generalize there really is only one difference, otherwise we are all just people. Some who handle stress better or worse than others.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I would like to think that most parents regardless of orientation put a lot of thought into becoming parents. I know my husband and I did. Granted… in same sex couples the chance of an "oops" baby is negated but there is still some huge decisions involved and lots of ways to avoid having children if they aren't wanted or can't be provided for. I'd like to see a study that looks at risky behavior practices vs. parenting across the board.
This is the line that gets under my skin:
…they are already disproportionately vulnerable to risks such as HIV, substance abuse and depression…
The implication is that gay men start as damaged goods, and the question is whether parenting will leave them even more stressed or vulnerable.
It doesn't get any better with this piece:
The study will … examine whether becoming a parent causes gay men to regulate their lifestyle in ways that protect them from risky behavior, or if the stress of parenting leads to increased health risks.
Ughhh… I don't have statistics, but it has never been a challenge for me to connect with other dull, ordinary, boring gay men like myself. We're not hook-up artists or fans of bareback sex; we hang out more often with neighbors or (gasp!) with friends from church than at bars or clubs.
There are much more appropriate, accurate, and academic ways to frame a study like this. Hopefully the actual study is more substantive than Elaine Bible, the communications person who posted this publicity piece, suggests.
Puss, you said what I was trying to say much better. And yes most couples do put a lot of thought into having a child, however there are lot of them who don't. Go to any Walmart to see for yourself.
Steve, You too should have written this post. I was irritated by the whole thing. The gay couples I know who are raising kids are great parents. The gay men I know who participate in risky behavior aren't interested in having children. I wish that could be said for straight couples.
I've worked with lots of gay parents and I can't see any difference in the effects parenting has on them. To think there is a difference because of orientation is ridiculous. What's the point with this study? I agree with Steve about the statement about gays being disproportionately vulnerable to certain risks. None of us are "damaged goods", whether we're gay or straight. We're just PEOPLE trying to be the best parents we know how to be.
I can understand being offended. It is offensively worded. I think they omitted the very real risk of being targeted by violence by people who buy into this bullshit stereotype of gay men.
It's so counterproductive, and frankly it's getting old.
"The study will be the first to examine whether becoming a parent causes gay men to regulate their lifestyle in ways that protect them from risky behavior, or if the stress of parenting leads to increased health risks."
last I checked, most people who have children change their lifestyle, if they dont, then DCF comes a knockin. this is the most ignorant article that i have read in a long time…lol. It would make me angry if I couldnt stop laughing.
and just for record, I know alot of heterosexual couples who actually met in a bar…can you believe it? heterosexuals go into bars too. Its true, really, Ive seen some. I hope they change their lifestyles when they have kids too.
to NOT pose this question and just assume that gay and hetero parenthood plays out in exactly the same fashion is also a disservice to the queer community since it basically writes off our experiences as not being worthy of investigation or inquiry. I’m sure all of you who are indignant about the subtextual implications of this study will be vindicated by the findings that EMPIRICALLY SPEAKING gay parents and hetero parents are strikingly similar in their responses. The important thing will be that the assumption will be borne out by proof and there will be less wiggle room for homophobic legislators to theorize about these differences based on THEIR version of common sense. This study will undo an important impasse and should go right ahead.