I need your help

Sorry I haven’t posted in so long. It seems my last few posts have been apologies for not posting. It isn’t that I don’t want to post or even that I have nothing to post but I have been struggling with a few issues lately. Issues that are related to this blog but not directly.

I’m never sure how much to reveal in my blogs. Obviously this blog is highly personal but it tends to be about the past so my day to day struggles usually don’t make it in this blog. My irritants and rants show up on my other blogs, as well as this one but still it isn’t all that personal.

I have been struggling with issues that are not easily summed up in a short or even long post but I will try to share it with you as concisely as possible because I need your help.

As some of you know I have been working on a book. I sat down one day last year and started typing for several months. I have always planned on publishing a book about growing up with a gay parent. When I first started writing, my book was filled with anger so I set it aside and started over. I didn’t like the tone of the writing or the end result. I didn’t want to publish something that was so negative because my experiences were not negative. I wouldn’t trade any of them for something different. So I started over and found that I had a talent for making people laugh at uncomfortable things.

I showed my writing to a few people and was encouraged enough to send my manuscript, or at least a portion of it, on to a few publishers. I received replies from all saying the same thing, I needed to develop the stories a bit more but they thought the subject matter was not only fascinating, intriguing and timely but also pretty damn funny and entertaining.

And then life got in the way. I shelved it again, right when it was just about finished, because of work and obligations I have to my kids and mother. I also think I shelved it because I was frightened of finishing it. If I finished it and sent it to publishers and they rejected it then what would I do?

And then I had a stunning realization. I don’t want to live my life in fear and yet I had been. If I don’t make the time to finish this book, which is something I have wanted to do since I was in third grade, I will never do it. I’ve made plenty of excuses for not finishing it. I don’t have the time, I don’t know how my family will respond to it, I can’t afford to finish it, I should be looking for a real job instead of taking the time necessary to finish it. And the list goes on and on.

I’m 43 years old and I am currently unemployed, there couldn’t be a better time to finish this project of mine. And there is so little left to do in actuality. I’m close to the finish line.

But I need your help. I need to generate income and the only way I can think of to do so at this time is to offer an excerpt of my book in exchange for donations. The size of the donation is up to you. All who donate will receive the first two chapters of my book in a Word Doc via email. I have set a goal to have a contract to publish or an actual published book by November 1st of this year. The top twenty donations will receive an autographed copy of the finished book when it is published. I realize it might not seem like much now but in twenty years or so it just might be worth something. Y’all could say you knew me at the beginning.

I read years ago that Harper Lee was given the income to live for one year so that she could write To Kill A Mockingbird. She hung around some pretty influential and wealthy people and I am not expecting to generate anything like a years worth of income but the gesture that those people made to her was powerful and what a wonderful piece of work she produced which she would not have done if she did not have the generous gift of her friends. I’ve decided to have faith that things will work out and that I will accomplish this goal which I have been striving for for most of my life. I’m scared to do this but I’m even more afraid to continue to live without taking incredible risks.

I want to thank you for your support whether you donate to my cause or not. If you have been a visitor to this blog I need to thank you. It is the feedback I get from this blog and the others that keeps me on this path, I don’t think I would have gotten this far if not for all of my readers.

Thank you.

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