Wow, I have never had 50 comments on any of my blogs before but my pissing and moaning about being rejected once again garnered just that.
All comments were kind and most offered to host my EC card. I’m truly thankful for all the supportive comments and the offer to host my blog and blogs like mine on their site.
However there was one comment that rubbed me the wrong way. And yet it illustrates what gay people and gay friendly people face everyday.
As anyone who reads this blog knows I struggle with my faith. So much so that I have moved from Agnosticism and am now leaning more towards Atheism. Paganism actually seems to make a bit more sense than Christianity but I haven’t looked into it all that much. I’m simply not sure what I believe anymore but am sure that the Christian model is not it. But I don’t begrudge anyone who is a Christian. I make fun of them a lot but the ones I am picking on are the ones on the fringe. The Fred Phelps type Christians.
When I see comments like the following I am perplexed and angered.
I am a strong Christian and believe that people who practice homosexuality are wrong. But, please understand, BEING a homosexual is not wrong. You’re right – we can’t choose what we have been made by God. But we can choose our behavior. We all are born with sinful natures. A person who embezzles money, a child who shoplifts from a store, a person who lies to their family, all these things are wrong and no more or less wrong than practicing homosexual behavior. This is what I believe, anyway.
Who are these people to say who is wrong? And just what does wrong mean? In all of the examples this person gives, someone is being victimized. I don’t see where that happens in a homosexual relationship. Who is being hurt? Certainly if one of the parties is cheating then someone is being hurt but that isn’t due to the person’s sexuality but by their deception.
She goes on:
So, I guess you are probably thinking I’m a narrow-minded jerk. Really, I’m not. I respect your thoughts, even though I don’t agree with them. I hope you can also respect other’s thoughts, even in you don’t agree with them.
I’m not sure. I don’t know how you treat other people so I can’t label you a narrow minded jerk without that information. If you are rejecting ads of mine, then yes, I do think you are a narrow minded jerk. If you are shunning homosexuals, then yes, I think you are a narrow minded jerk. If you are crusading to prevent homosexuals from the same rights that you enjoy, then yes, I think you are a narrow minded jerk. Just because you go to a Church that holds these beliefs does not make you a narrow minded jerk. It makes you a lemming but not necessarily a narrow minded jerk. It just means that you lack common sense and you can’t think for yourself. Neither of which are crimes but certainly a reason to avoid you. At least from my perspective. I respect a persons right to have any belief that they choose. That does not however mean that I agree with it nor do I condone it. And it certainly doesn’t mean I think you are right.
She then goes on to prove my point:
I would say anyone who openly promotes hate or derogatory comments, nope – no reason to respect their thoughts. But people who just think differently than you shouldn’t all be lumped into one big category of closeted homo haters. If you were created by God – and you are – then you deserve my love, even if we don’t see the world the same way.
I didn’t use the word idiot or stupid before but I am tempted to now. And it is with a heavy heart because I like this person’s blog. It is well written and quite amusing. But the thing is this comment is hypocritical. It does promote hate. If you say that something is wrong, liken it to criminal activity then you are giving the go-ahead for others to do the same. It isn’t just thinking differently. If that were the case we wouldn’t be having this conversation. If it were just thinking differently then gays would have the same rights that straights have. If it were just thinking differently then gays and lesbians wouldn’t be attacked, raped and murdered simply because of their sexuality. It is so much more than just thinking differently.
I’ve probably said this before but I am no longer a Christian, and the issue of homosexuality is part of why I left the church. I can’t believe that a loving God would make a person a certain way and then punish them for acting on the feelings God gave them. That is cruel and sadistic. It’s like saying I’m going to make you blind and then punish you for not seeing. If the Christian God is truly loving, merciful, and full of grace (which the Bible shows ‘he’ really is not) then ‘he’ would not ‘make’ homosexuals only to damn them to hell for acting on their feelings. That kind of reasoning is completely idiotic and not worthy of an omnipotent, loving being.
Not to mention that the beliefs of some people should not be able to determine reality and public policy for everyone else. As the saying goes, ‘Churches should stay out of politics or be taxed!’
UGH!!! It is people like that “lady” that give Christians a bad name
It really makes me sad that people are so closed minded.
I am a Christian but I look at it this way… My views are my views, My faith is my faith – If you want to hear about them then you will ask and I should NOT go shoving them in other peoples faces.
Live a life that shows your love and that is the best kind of publicity possible!!
I hope that wasn’t too “preachy”!!
I love your blogs mostly because they make me laugh and are just so real and honest!
Jane Doe, I couldn’t have said it better. I’ve tried but you hit the nail on the head. Thank you. And they should be taxed.
Stephanie, I am always confused now when people say they are Christians. Technically I am since I was baptized and confirmed in a non Jewish, non Muslim, non whatever else is out there, church. But “Christian” has a different meaning than that now it seems. Or the term has been hijacked by a bunch of nuts. I wouldn’t consider you to be one of them (nuts) even though you call yourself a christian. But I wouldn’t know that without knowing you a little. Of course I wouldn’t know you were a “christian” unless you told me like you did. I’m glad you like my blogs and that they amuse you, that is the goal. Thanks for always leaving me such great comments.
Hi friend.. Interesting post.. Nice blog work.. keep it up..
will drop by your site often.. Do find time to visit my blog and post your comments..
Have a great day.. Cheers!!!
OK, I don’t want to go into the whole discussion of being a good or a bad Christian, of how Christians are, or better how most people perceive that Christians are. Just some personal thoughts:
Blessed day everybody, and join me in the prayer that one day gender, color, sexual orientation etc don’t matter anymore, just the persons as they are.
I am committed, practicing Christian that believes God created some people gay and some people straight and loves everybody just the same. I have gay friends, single and in a relationship and thinking of one couple that is together since 25+ years I pray that I will do in my own marriage as well as these two do. I regret that the Church I belong to doesn’t offer a wedding/ blessing ceremony for gay couples and do everything I can (what isn’t much) to change this. Regarding your blog/ entrecard, feel free to advertise on mine, I would be honored to host your ad. As a more practical and immediate help I have added you to my blog roll
Hi Jen, I really enjoy your blogs and you are always welcome to put your ad on either one of my blogs
http://fattyprejudice.today.com
http://www.myheartvoice.com
Great post again Jen.
Thankfully I have not yet had a confrontation on the religious arguments against homosexuality. I really don’t know how I’d handle it. I guess to start off with, I’d be shocked. I think this sort of thing usually comes out of left field, from a person you wouldn’t suspect would bring it up. I guess I’ve been lucky, I haven’t really come across this in real life, or in the blogsphere.
Sparks, Um ok.
Golden Prague, thank you and thank you for the lovely recommendation you left on EC. That was really nice. I wish that the christians here were more like you. I must say that most of them are but it is this little back handed compliment type of comment that is irritating.
Lily’s Gramma, thank you I really appreciate that. Thank you for stopping by and as soon as I finish this I will swing by.
Lola, I’m surprised I don’t get more of it frankly. I know I should ignore it but I don’t. I don’t think this person meant any harm however and usually that is not always the case. I think she is just regurgitating what she has been taught. I think she is a good person if not a little naive. Be thankful you haven’t run across this type of thing in your real life. I’m sure it sucks.
Jen–There is no “thinking” going on in her empty little head. She has been brainwashed by some so-called religion that makes everything black and white so it’s members don’t have to think. They just follow or go to “hell”. (Okay, I’m going to hell with all the fun people.) How self-righteous, how ignorant, how naive to “think” like she. Scary how many of her type are out there. I hope her children stay on the “good” path….imagine if they stray.
When I hear things like that, it really puts a bad taste in my mouth around christianity. I am catholic, born and raised, but that doesnt mean that i beleive everything that is told to me. I dont think christians believe in hate, i think people who hate believe in hate.
Who wrote that so i know who not to drop on. I make sure on the list that you gave, that i dont drop on them also. Im still wondering if i should all the ones that declined you on my blog also. If we just put their blogs out there, who knows, maybe more people wont drop on them. Im sorry, i just hate reading this stuff, and i have a bad head cold so im out of it, ill probably regret this post iin the morning…lol.
Lin, Gdad from Cranial Hyperossification, http://cranialhyperossification.blogspot.com/ is holding a seat for me in hell and I believe that Bill from Life on Planet Bill, http://lifeonplanetbill.blogspot.com/ is bringing the iced tea. It’s a pot luck kind of place and you are welcome to join us.
John, the link is in the original post. I didn’t want to make a link to it. I haven’t really kept track of them tho I could if I just went through my comments. Not a bad idea. email me
In my limited understanding of Christianity, Jesus made a point of going to the fringes of society (lepers, etc.) to let them know that God would welcome them in (His/Her) kingdom.
I do not understand the modern-day Christians that seem to completely disregard the main message that I understood as underlying Christianity – love God and love one another. Not to mention the whole thou shalt not judge thing.
Do unto others, y’all!
Comments like that are one reason why I washed my hands of religion years ago.
Hey, I got an ad rejected for the first time. I have no idea why. It kinda pissed me off.
Anyway, that person’s an idiot. Whenever somebody says they’re not narrow-minded and then proceeds to spill out some narrow-minded thought, you can be pretty sure religion has something to do with it.
Lilaphase, I don’t know much about birthin’ no religion either and I was under that same assumption. Love one another, treat each other nicely, no judging etc. The rules are pretty straight forward kindergarten rules. I don’t get it.
pussreboots, me too but also because their schedule conflicted with my sleep schedule. If God really wanted my attention he would wait until I was fully awake.
That’s one of the reasons I can not buy into organized religions. They are run by humans. The bible was written by humans. You can’t tell me any of that cr*p is God!! I don’t believe it for a second. You can advertise on any of my 4 blogs. I’d be more then happy to have your widget there.
I have a rainbow tattoo on my arm but I’m not gay. Wonder if that’s confused people
As a non christian of 30 something years, I have always had a big problem with that commenter’s position. (aside from her proselytizing on your blog) Simply put, her philosophy implies that being gay is not only a sin, but a choice. Personally, I want nothing to do with a so-called savior who “loves me anyway”. Rock on Kids of Queers!
Btw, although I’m a new reader here at Kids of Queers, I love your blog and have taken the liberty of tagging you over at my other blog, The Eclectic Witch Please stop by and see if you care to play. If you’re not into it, that’s cool too!
I believe the Bible says Homosexuality is a sin, that is pretty simple. However I do not believe that anyone, including Gays, should have their civil rights violated, due to someone elses religious beliefs. Whether or not someone thinks homosexuality is right, or wrong, should not be the issue. Their civil rights are the issue, and they deserve the same rights, as any straight couple. Now a church may not marry them, and that is fine, but a justice of the peace will. Now I am going to be very frank, and honest here. I have personally refused your card on my homeschool blog. It has nothing to do with religion, or beliefs. The title, I find inappropriate for a blog that children may visit. The term queer, by itself, is a turn off to me. However if you asked to put your card on one of my other two blogs, I would have no problem approving it. If that does not make sense I am sorry for that.
Melissa, I’m glad that you gave an explanation for that rejection. I think this is one reason why anyone who rejects an ad on Entrecard should have the courtesy to add the explanation for the person. There can be all sorts of reasons for a valid rejection, but the person asking to advertise just never knows.
Of course, that said — trying to hide children from the word “queer,” when it’s used throughout the entire society, is like trying to hide them from sunlight. They’re going to run into it. Period.
The only way to help children grow up strong and able to think for themselves is by allowing them to see complex things, and even things we disagree with, and talking about them. Hiding them from things that are out in the open everywhere else just makes them weak, and unable to deal with that concept when they do — inevitably — run into it elsewhere.
Meanwhile, I totally agree with Jane Doe’s comments. I could almost quote her first paragraph verbatim, as my own view.
And the next paragraph? ABSOLUTELY. The church is NOT the government, not in any true democracy. Treating every citizen equally, in a completely secular way, is the only way to guarantee ALL citizens their rights in a democracy.
Anyone who advocates a church being in control of government policy is advocating for tyranny of one religion over everyone else. Nuh uh. Not if you believe in democracy, people.
I always get angry playing for god!
This person who wrote to you explains a lot with a small knowledge of complicated situations, and she is talking like she is ‘ennlightened’…no way.
kindest
hans
dutch in istanbul
oh sweet… i never tried having 50 comments too… that must be cool…
HISTORY of SUPERNOVA and SWEETPAIN
ANGELS IN MY LIFE
SPICES OF LIFE
Jen,
So obviously you struck a nerve, always happy to host your card. Keep writing!
Good luck with your blog, I’ve been blogging for two years and never got 50 comments…ok, truthfully I don’t think I ever got 5 comments.
You can advertise on my blogs anytime if you want. I sympathize because I know that people who are gay are just like everyone else, they were just born with a different sexuality. There’s also people who don’t fall into the category of gay or straight, or even Bi. There are straight people with homosexual leanings and urges, and that is what is kept in the closet and is the most dangerous in our society. Men cheating on their wives with other men, and bringing home some STD. It happens all the time. And a lot of these “closet” straight acting married men will be the first ones to bash someone who is openly gay. It’s a very complicated problem in our society.
i am a Christian but no longer attend church. I haven’t been able to find any lately that weren’t full of hypocrites and gossipers.
Please don;t let one very self righteous person turn you away from Christ.
Do as I do. I try to walk and live as Christ did and that is with a loving nature.
I hope now that you have written about this…you can release it and go on.
People like this are not worth the energy it takes to even respond. It’s obvious by her own words that she is very misguided in her thinking and truly doesn’t have a clue.
Peace and blessings to you!!
Jackie:-)
GOOD GRIEF!!! Did I miss where this comment was? I would have commented back for sure.
Interesting comment she made. She blatantly berates the act, and loves you for your opinion… I think.
I’m just flat out perplexed.
Oh my. This sounds just like a conversation I had with a neighbor.
She was talking about a gay friend of hers that she loved but felt bad for because he would be denied a visit to heaven. She too thought that if he practiced abstinence then all would be well. I asked her how she would feel if someone told her to practice abstinence?
This is the problem I have with organized religion. It does not breed free thinkers but instead a community of people who believe the interpretations of their “leaders”. There are very different interpretations of the bible and I think each person should read it and decide for themselves. I’ve always had a problem with others telling me what to think and wish more people would be the same way.
Hello…nice to meet you.
There is only one bottom line and that is ‘WE ARE ALL PEOPLE’
My grandmother who I deemed to be a very straight forth and intelligent women told me this once and I never forgot it..”We all came from the same hole and we will all return through the same hole” (Excuse the crudeness…no harm meant)
She was a devout Catholic believe me. She met the Pope several times and did all the church things that church goers do in support of their faith. She never once spoke down about anyone’s choices in life so long as those choices did not intentionally hurt or ridicule another.
Not one of us is here as ‘JUDGE’.
WE are all unique in our own ways…yes…but we are all equal as people and should be respected in that manner.
Sorry If I ranted…it does tend to get a bit frustrating when I read about people acting as if they are better than anyone else for whatever reason.
I look forward to more of your thoughts!
Have a very positive day!
That may be true, but I find the word queer to be offensive, and hateful.
jen, i have a prize for you at my blog….lol
melissa, i totatlly get what you are saying. As a gay man, i hate the word queer. When I hear it, i get PTSD from it..lol.
I guess for me though, it depends on who is using the word. As when i saw the title of this blog, i knew it was a friendly place.
But I can understand why someone might reject it. If someone asked me to post their ‘I hate queers’ blog on my blog, I would most likely not accept it.
I also agree, that I wouldnt my children to hang out with kids that called others ‘queers’, as I dont like the word myself, and there are other words that I dont care for when describing someones race or ethnicity. However, they use it in their own communities. I guess its to have the word not have so much power anymore.
oh i forgot,
Phyl, I dont think its so much not having children exposed to it. That will be pretty hard to do. But having it on your own blog as an accpetalbe term is different.
Maybe I am the hyprocrite here, as I have ‘jens’ blog listed on my blog as I like it. But at the same time if my kids used the word, its a time out for them.
I had a whole post written out, then I erased it. But I do want to say go you for addressing such a negative comment right out here for everyone to see!
Sorry, I got a little behind in addressing these comments and commenting back. And it looks as if my lovely readers have taken that on themselves to moderate the comments. Thanks!
I do want to address the name of my blog however. I wanted a name that said it was a blog about homosexuality but not my sexuality. Originally when I created the blog I had a blurb in the banner that said the word queer was not used derogatorily but that seemed redundant and when I changed to the new logo I left it out. I don’t want to have to explain myself just as I don’t think anyone who is GLBT should have to explain their selves. I also chose the word queer for the alliteration. Kids of Homosexuals just didn’t have the same ring to it as Kids of Queers. I mean no offense and except for a few christians I have heard that no one is offended by the use of the word. I would rather own the word than be afraid of it. Language is very powerful and I meant the word Queer in the best sense of the word.
The meaning of a word is all about the popular social understanding of that word. Gay used to mean happy; now it means homosexual. So, if we try to promote the word ‘queer’ as a positive word, not a negative one, then eventually the popular definition will change. Keep it up, and they won’t have anything nasty to call homosexuals!
I’m a member of Entrecard, too, which is how I found your blog (you dropped a card on me). Feel free to advertise on my blog, http://www.serendipitoustimes.blogspot.com; consider yourself pre-approved.
There is one thing I have always thought about when I hear the ignorant statement that being gay is a choice. I ask you, would anyone purposely choose a lifestyle that gets them called filthy names, beaten, robbed and killed? How can anyone say it is a choice? Would a straight person choose to be straight if it meant discrimination, hate, no rights, no way to love someone without being called out about it? Think about that. Jen, I love you girl and I have already told you, advertise on my site anytime at all. I am going to be using this and John’s site in my Sunday Sillies.
I’m pan-religious (I’m down with pretty much every religion/spiritual path) and I just basically ignore the Christians who are homophobic. I’ve pretty much given up on them regarding ANY issue.
Paganism is very cool – it’s got a great perspective on the world and is full of gratitude for the earth we live on.